SHAME

by Ravine Angel

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1.
Pissed myself in a field My skin looks ancient in the mirror Autumn entropic Brown and tan of the closed Sears Despite a guilty sentence From a jury of my peers I swear to Christ I will return As a mystic and a seer We drink like fish to get thick as felons Til the climax comes like Mt. St. Helen's To leave this whole country All covered in ash And to brag later on You self-righteous ass When we leave from the pre-drink To the night's drink proper We say, "Don't let me have too much now, I'll just cry in the cab, get bothered" But you just called the shot And when the hot tears hit leather You won't believe just what we found together Because when when we say "I wanna get fucked up" What we really mean is "I need love"
2.
I put a penny I put a penny on the tracks And they ran me out of town And I'm never And I'm never coming back There's nothing left to run me from It all burned down It all burned down In a freak accident during my stay And now the law is Now the law is out around And there's money on my name No, I can deal Although these stakes are real Putting yourself on trial and silently screaming Waiting for something Waiting for a meaning Waiting for shadow Under the light of the law Conversations Are meditations On the minor details of your hatreds Of one another Like former lovers Become estranged sisters, fathers, brothers So take the chase and Try to erase it With a sugary ear-split hangover To cancel plans with Anxious parents Who just wanna know what's up For once in months And with zeal, You'll tell them that you feel You're putting yourself on trial and silently screaming Waiting for something Waiting for a meaning Waiting for shadow Under the light of the law Felt a little bit appeal of the void And put a shot out in the dark Led by dirty photographs And questions of the heart And would you look at me now? All I do is murder love and art And there's only really one recourse Putting yourself on trial and silently screaming Waiting for something Waiting for a meaning Waiting for shadow Under the light of the law The law The light of the law
3.
Hikikomori 03:03
Everybody wears their darkest mask for you Everybody save their cruelest laughs for you Everybody bears their sharpest knives for you And nobody'd ever spend their lives with you So why not stay inside? Odds are it's better if you hide There's no difference at all Between the shadows and the wall Everybody here would sell you out for a song Everybody here was in on it all along Everybody here can read you like a book And your conscience will never let you off the hook So why not lie in wait? For however long it takes For them to forget That you're still in your bed Cops surround your house immediately Don't play dumb Did you forget? They were always in your home with you In the pictures of your friends That you took to keep the memories Of when you weren't scared of them Everybody's in conspiracy In your head In your head
4.
This Sigil 03:05
This sigil marks you as the next One to die and now it's burned into your forehead You woke up with it at 3 or 4 am After a restless night's sleep and in a cold sweat Oh, everybody only wants to know What's up with that thing, why does it glow? When you're near a certain object, so Does it mean your fate is sealed, or no? This sigil makes you so well-known This sigil brings you shame and pitying Until the only place that feels like home Are the deepest darkest corners of the city and No, you will not remove your hat, sir Though doing so may please your masters Woe be upon the upperclassmen Who facilitated your swift capture So reduced to an attraction in a show, The tension in your head begins to blow Everything you're hiding starts to show Will the prophecy come true? Nobody knows
5.
Underfed, underslept, oversexed and All of God's power has crept into his head He feels like his feelings are the biggest they've been yet He sees his perceptions as the realest they've been yet Smells blood like a shark as he swims through the sunlight Oh, another lover I can grasp and get uptight Oh, another human being offering care That I can transform into power, and oh the air is off Oh please, Just don't play it soft, On me, Please, Don't let him get off, Scott-free Take him to the mall But he won't let you feed him 'Cause his primary interests are the Beach Boys and bleedin' Take him to the lake, But it won't relieve him From lyin' on his back til his lats are screamin' Oh, he's just an addict, Never gets on his feet and He could never love you as much as the release and He keeps on complainin' bout this ache in his teeth But he won't get up and fix it, 'Cause he claims that he's free Oh please, Please, Just give him some time, Eventually, You know he'll be alright, Cause that's just how it works right? And I'll see you in another life.
6.
The Atom 01:57
They wanna keep us apart They wanna split apart the field and the wave Into a sectioned chart In an apartment a hundred miles away They want us in the dark Decoding messages and sources they leave Flashlights in the park Decoding unauthorized sources on screens I'm not gonna let them I'm gonna keep it together If I split, then I guess I'll split just like the atom They wanna keep us apart They wanna separate us, body and mind Poor innocent Descartes If he coulda known the different kind Of science that emerged from his process, If he saw all that we lost then, He would have rendered himself blind For the sake of mankind I'm never gonna let them I'm gonna keep it together If I split, then I guess, I'll split just like the atom
7.
Sudden Death 03:54
We're getting old and we're getting lame Blew through the budget for the women and champagne And we're forgetting what the point of the campaign was When we left all those years ago, Freshly excised from our homes, Holy crusaders with our eyes aglow for blood My god, my god, my god Please protect me from my dream, Small as it may be, My heart, my heart, my heart, Just know I tried my best, But not quite enough for sudden death Sudden death After the blood was spilled, a croak, Somewhere out in the crowd, in the smoke, Elders reminded us just what a sick joke it was "Why can't you just be nice for once?" We choke out through our blackened lungs But we know he's just projecting and the cunt's morose My god, my god, my god Please protect me from my dream, Small as it may be, My heart, my heart, my heart Just know I tried my best, But not quite enough for sudden death Sudden death
8.
The Boats 02:17
He was sentenced to death by the boats On the river's shore In ancient Assyria Filled him up til he was way past full And they gave him a home They gave him a place to rest He didn't like it that much, The bugs came to feed on his guts And so they fed Felt some sympathy toward his jailors For his failures But which one was the punishment for? Nature is pure and perfect, He thinks to himself on day ten or eleven As his head breaks through the surface Getting a clear view of the heavens "I did something to deserve this," He thinks to himself as the sun is setting. Mary Ann was just 22 When she got her a job singing backup in her sister's band Sold some singles, pretty popular They got on radio and even the TV It was summer 1970 She was trying to score in Nassau County Bad batch of blacktar goin' round (HISTORICAL NOTE: Blacktar heroin was yet not around in the 70s, but it sounds cool, so I used it, fuck you!) When she died, she was one of twenty Mary Ann, think of how much you did Not just for me, but for others How many first dates, first kisses? How many future fathers, mothers? How many heartbreaks consoled? You wooed away to tell them one day there'd be another? Just one more thing, I promise, I'll always be here to sing with you.
9.
Dog II 04:02
Like a wounded dog, I will always Come back home Waiting for you here With faith in my eyes, And hope for your patience I can forgive Any sin So just let me say, Let me admit I'm so relieved you let me in. Like a wounded dog, I will always Sink in my claws In hopes that Someday You'll sink in yours In familiarity In comfort and warmth To end my precarity I'll do my best Try not to protect Won't bark and scream at night Won't sooth nervous tics Please forgive all my sins

credits

released September 19, 2018

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Ravine Angel Calgary, Alberta

aoife makes solo music under this name

and previously as model trains (modeltrains.bandcamp.com)

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