Petty Grievance

by Ravine Angel

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1.
Ambition 03:38
There are no rules and no one’s counting the score You aim for number one you’re gonna end up number four And when you get so used to losing you can’t lose anymore There’s nothing left to do except a boot through the door This ambition’s gonna kill me for sure There are no rules and no one’s counting the score And I don’t know how to take it, everyday is a chore When no amount of liquor’s ever filling your cup Everybody else’s wins are proof you’re never enough She says baby I’m not feeling so hot And I say you’re plenty warm and this is all that we’ve got When we’re bashing all our skulls up against a brick wall In a world that won’t remember we existed at all Well, this ambition’s gonna kill me When I get there, I’ll be empty Where is there, I cannot see it Nothing ever satisfies and nothing ever works So commiserate with me and show your grief Even if you have to do it with beared teeth I’ll open up to you and you to me And maybe we can find a place to sleep
2.
i regret to inform you the calls are coming from inside the house it’ll take ten minutes until then i’m sure there’s no way out i wish the best for you and your sisters oh sorry are they in there too i knew you girls had such potential shame to see it go so soon do you have any tripwires or hammers you can hang above the doors i’m sorry, just wondering nothing he wouldn’t have seen before with how many more he’s done before you i wasn’t supposed to tell you that nothing to lose, it makes us honest now lay out the welcome mat accept your fate like the stone in the river that washes away with the tide it’s too late nothing worse than the hubris of not knowing when it’s your time i’m sure you came to me trying to get help thinking i’d only see the one side so take my advice: lay down and die just lay down and die with all of your friends gone, who’d really notice if you didn’t try? I’m sure there’s a few But you could finally prove You were nothing more than a waste of their time So just lay down and die Lay down and die Lay down and die Lay down and die Lay down and die Lay down and die
3.
Speed Metal 04:02
There was some talk of our torrid affairs But we’re too far gone to care After my third joint and eighteenth Heineken Wearing leather in the sweltering heat The rats infest the street after It warms up enough for us all to live I know I could be doing more But I could be doing less I’ll blow it all down at the poolhall Spend my money like I spent my innocence When we go out, we listen to Slayer And when we go home, we listen to Willie and Merle I wish this summer could go on forever At that place that plays speed metal There was some talk that every world must end We’re too far gone to mend And now the stocks will crash and the sky will turn blood red We will get drunk with every final cent They choke up after rent Until we’re too turned on and violent to comprehend Oh no Just what’s going on? It’s the teenage fantasy of us v them I know There’s so much left to go And the 8-ball hasn’t sunk just yet When we go out, we listen to Slayer And when we go home, we listen to Willie and Merle Barely going but we’re going on together At that place that plays speed metal
4.
The Mall 04:31
Thought about you walking home in the light rain A hundred million hormones rattling my brain When did we last speak anyway? September 22nd after a chem class We traded numbers and sat out on the dead grass I wonder what are you doing Friday? Cause I had big plans for fifteen But I ended up all on my own I don’t know if you knew but it’s my birthday If you wanna Humiliation Misplaced lust Low low prices On the brands you trust Whatever you want baby We got it all Age old wisdom Haute couture Waiting for a Ride at the door And that’s where I’ll be baby Down at the mall Waiting by myself at the mall (x4) Walk past the stores I’ve spent my whole life with Was this always here or was I just dreaming? Are the kiosks all closing? As the hours pass the music plays louder George Michael echoing until it gets dour In the company of the mannequins You could have sent a text back I could have backup planned just in case I’ll call my mom and tell her my friends went home early I can see Pandora I can see Céline I can see the products That I could get I can hear what’s coming Radiohead And I don’t like it No, not one bit How can I dig my Self out of this trap That I built with pride, Before the day I snap And I’m trapped forever In the bathroom walls Screaming please come help me Waiting by myself at the mall Waiting by myself at the mall (x4)
5.
Tree branches forming neurons overhead We've been given this sacred light to protect We give mouth-to-mouth just to keep it alive It works for an hour or two at a time You twist the knife, you twist the fate I have no time now left to wait These kids get younger most every day And I don't understand half the shit that they say There's no room Left for debate My time is gone It's already too late I wonder if I could have done it better Had my will been iron, had my aim been true I've failed at everything I ever did At everything I ever tried to do But I'm honest, to be honest, All I ever really wanted Was a moment where I could become great for you But now all I do Is ruminate My time is gone And it's already too late Your time never came Because you never learned how to ask For what you want, you'd just wait And it worked Til you grew up and looked around And found that every bridge was burnt Your whole life Ends up played back refracted In the eyes of your lonely wife She sees inside And can pinpoint the day when that Part of you finally died The part that tried
6.
7.
pink sky and the drunken dancers let the stars align and let the moon in cancer wash away and then metastasize to let our limits show that we’re alive plastic lawnchairs and mugs we made into the firewood and ashtrays a dozen limbs in extreme love oil for the bikes, paper for the tongues we all knew where it was going and it was healthy for no one we could all foresee the eviction notice and the bottle of whiskey falling asleep in the bath on a cold september night and hang your head in shame live in fear of your good catholic name (good catholic name good catholic name good catholic name good catholic name) we all want elation we all want to die we would all do anything to keep the scene alive oh i want your pills whichever ones you got give what’s left to the teens whoever’s first to knock writing resumes and ripping bongs at noon in july, oh i wished i was i wished was someone who could have taken it on i wished for anything but what i was jazz band rehearses noon til dawn cacophony of squeaks and honks deteriorating mental states already fragile and about to break oh but it was heavenly oh you wouldn’t understand you’ve never really loved until you’ve found the ones who you let see you in your lowest state crying on the kitchen floor writing your will (writing your will writing your will writing your will) i can’t believe we made it we shouldn’t have survived i don’t wanna go back but i’m glad we tried oh to push the limits oh to make it worse for everyone around me now i bear that curse
8.
you grew up in a part of town where you looked up and where they looked down you wondered “what is wrong with me” and they would agree there’s something off and something strange and something queer how did you get past the gates tell me what you’re doing here so you took all the advice they gave you and you put on a new self but there’s no use in posturing cause they can always smell so why do you try all the small things will belie it’s social suicide it’s a joke went on too long and now it’s gone sweet petit-bourgeois you developed an exquisite taste mastered every bit of etiquette they gave fed them all the shit they crave oh you were stylish you were learned you were cool but soon you’re flat broke, no one cares you went to school so wipe off all your bon mot pretence all that i see is resent cause when once you start to scale that climb you find there’s no rungs, only heads so why do you try all the small things will belie it’s social suicide it’s a joke went on too long and now it’s gone sweet petit-bourgeois come down in the muck and join the ones who really love you when the temperature’s right i’m sure at one of those good schools they taught you there’s a difference ‘tween the good and the nice so go out and make your debut on the promenade and try not to compulsively lie or say anything like “my dowry is high” so why do you try why do you try why do you try so why do you try all the small things will belie it’s social suicide it’s a joke that went on long and now it’s gone sweet petit-bourgeois
9.
Amygdala 02:20
my mother was a mountain lion curled up in the bushes ready to strike and i was born to worship her at the altar of amygdala i will build a community who have the same struggles as me together we will bend the knee at the alter of amygdala my mother isn’t real my mother has no life outside the bushes outside my mind but what if she isn’t what can we do what will we do we’ll curl and hide i guess how did our forgiveness give us such a mess? i could sleep for two weeks
10.
why am i still doing this self-aggreived and narcissistic schtick built a home inside a tar pit now i don’t have to leave if i ever did the path that they sold me is the path that i bought play at home with your toys til you’ve lived a life for nought look at you now, you’re breaking down in a costco parking lot but life goes on if you’re famous or not crave your attention til i start to feel exposed praying for the day i break and settle in the pressure pose praying for the light to show the things that no one knows but knowing the exact face that i’ll make the day you go seeing all the reaping makes it hard to want to sow but if i must go on then so too must the show the sunk costs are too deep to not still seek those things i sought but life goes on if you’re famous or not i will love you even if our dreams can’t come true Magda: (There are no rules and no one’s counting the score You aim for number one you’re gonna end up number four And when you get so used to losing you can’t lose anymore There’s nothing left to do except a boot through the door She says baby I’m not feeling so hot And I say you’re plenty warm and this is all that we’ve got When we’re bashing all our skulls up against a brick wall In a world that won’t remember we existed at all)

credits

released October 2, 2020

Written, performed, produced by Aoife Josie Clements
Vocals on "Ambition" and "Life Goes On (If You're Famous Or Not) by Magdalene Baker

Album art by Aoife Josie Clements and Louise Weard

"Ambition" video shot by Magdalene Baker, Louise Weard and Dionne Copland
directed by Dionne Copland and Louise Weard
www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6FxE5VeeBI

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Ravine Angel Calgary, Alberta

aoife makes solo music under this name

and previously as model trains (modeltrains.bandcamp.com)

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